I'm going to randomly update since I have the time and i'm quiet honestly BORED! Its been raining for what seems like weeks here. Cold and wet. Wet and cold. No fun. What makes it even better is that there is a leak in our ceiling! Fan-fricking-tas-frickin-tic!

On to more happy things! Last Friday I went to an event "An evening with Dr. Maya Angelou"

We had seats on the balcony. The red curtains separated and then you see Maya in all black, sitting. Standing ovation! Then the audience went quiet and waited for her to speak. She sat in a chair the entire time, she opened with a "song" then she talked about growing up. I've read her autobiography and know the key points. But she talked about Maya the person, not Maya the poet, dancer, producer...she talked about her. She talked about how she use to smoke cigarettes. She told a story about a time she went to a vegetarian eating place and a exchange she had with a waitress. Other than being in awe of her, she made me laugh. She made us laugh. She had us laughing out loud! It was just perfect. She ended the show with "Still I raise" and then she rose. We gave a roaring standing ovation and then the red curtains closed. Then i thought to myself, that's it? People were putting on their jackets and gathering their belongings. I stood still seriously looking at the stage....maybe she'll come back on. Maybe its an intermission. But on the program, its stated no intermission. It was over :0( it ended too soon. I'm so glad I was able to hear her speak. I was so honored to be in the same room. Now I mark that off of my "bucket list". That night I stayed the night over friends house. We stayed up until 2:30 talking and playing Slam..fun game by the way! Even though at times I felt not so smart at times, lol.

Right now its raining the boys are napping. I just finished cleaning out toys because the boys birthday gifts arrived yesterday and today so i'm getting a head start and making room. I cleaned the kitchen and I the dishwasher going. I'll be making dinner here soon. April is two days away! This year has been flying by. I'm hoping so things I'm working on goes in my favor, because i'm ready to do more.

Hope you all have a good day.

Easter Clothes & Plans

Today I went to CP to get the boys and my neice their Easter outfits. They are going to look down right dashing and my neice is going to look as cute as ever and I can't wait! I went with theme of colors for them. I got Blue, Yellow, White, and Black. It may sound kind of odd now but once they have the outfits on they will look like they belong on a CP bulletin board. I'm already calling for major cutenss overload. I just hope that they stay clean enough to get some good pictures.

About 70% of my boys clothes come from the CP(Children's Place). Mixed in are hand me downs, Marshalls, Gap, Old Navy, and AJ Wright. I'm so use to shopping there I now use the abbreated version because CP and I are close, we go back from 2007. Since the day Christian was born I would shop there. There are times where I drift off the path of CP. If there is a deal somewhere else depending on where it is, I will stray to save a few bucks(saving money is always good). Buying clothes for your child(ren) isn't always cheap, it can add up if you're not careful.

Easter plans as of now are my mom is cooking a fantastic meal. (I'll be snapping pictures). I'll craft it up with the kiddies(crafts, inbetween i'll be snapping pictures). Easter egg hunt, hopefully outside if the weather allows if not inside the house will do (while they scream with excitment, and I also predict cries "He got my egg!" "I want more!" I will still be taking pictures, I am after all mamarazzi).

The boys have runny gross noses and a cough. Sickness BE GONE!

Also, tomorrow I'm going to see Dr. Maya Angelou!! The poet, educator, historian, best-selling author, actress, playwright, civil-rights activist, and so much more! I'm so excited and I swear this can go on my list of things I want to do before I die.

Pour Your Heart Out

Here are the Rules:

Write a post from the heart.
Something that has been weighing on you.
Something you feel passionately about.
Something you've been wanting to talk about.
A cause, a memory, a belief, a world view.

Anything.

Go grab your button from Shell



I'll preface this by saying that I think I am a caring, funny, and compassionate person. I empathize with people. I'm all for cheering people on and giving them words of "wisdom" if i have any. I can give them that extra ump to get through whatever. I'm good for that. I'm the motivator and the got your back type of friend. I'm rational. I'm hear to listen to problems, worries, or concerns. I'm hear to laugh with you and at you. I'm a good person. I really am.

But I'm also not a fan of lies or BS. Not one bit. I've been called heartless more than I would like to admit.

I'm really good with not putting up with lies. I'm really not good with backstabbing. I'm really not good fake people. I'm OK with completely cutting someone out of my life without a blink. If I feel I've given you more than enough times to redeem yourself or prove me wrong but you continue to disappoint me and you do not contribute to my life for the better, you are out.

I cut my biological father out of my life because I felt he was useless and a big sack of lies to put it nicely. I gave him more than enough time and oppurtunities to be a father figure. Never came through, just disappointment after disappointment. I'm pretty sure when he was on his death bed he had a aching feeling because he disappointed me. I sometimes think he died with me on his conscience, and that's fine by me. My biological dad was a sick man during he's last months on earth. My sister went to go visit before he passed and I couldn't tell you how many family and friends told me to go and say my goodbyes and not let him die with him knowing I really didn't care for him. I didn't go and say my goodbye. My sister flew down to the funeral. I didn't go to his funeral. And with that, I'm heartless. Let me tell you all I'm not heartless. He lied too much for me to ever forgive him. Father or not. Blood relative or not. I never believed him when he would say he loved me. Before he got really sick I cut him out of my life and up until his death. Like I said, i'm not good with fake either so I couldn't even for a moment put my feelings aside to make him feel better. So, I'm "heartless".

But I am not.

Putting up a front is not an easy thing for me to do.

I've cut off "friends" and family.

Putting up a front is not an easy thing for me to do. But I can be cordial if I don't like you and we share the same company. I will stomach you.

I don't do bullshit*ers or liers. Like I don't iron, lol.

Putting up a front is not a easy thing for me to do. So, be warned I am 100% your friend and confidant. All I ask is you be the same. Because, chances are if catch you in a lie more than I could count or you're diceiving in anyway you are out of my life. Family or friend. I don't have the patience to argue over the petty. I just want to get off my chest that I may seem cold at times and bitch-like but i'm really not.

Phew. That felt good. I've always wanted to say that because it seems as though some people only remember the not so nice things i've said or remember me cutting certain people out of my life. That they fail to see that is NOT me all the time. I don't like doing it. But if it has to be done, it has to be done. I'm all for growth and being positive.

I didn't know I would write that much and if you made it through it all, thanks a bunch ♥

My apron

Just a quick picture post to show the apron I won:

And of course, by Lima Bean Designs.

If you haven't already check out My Sweetest Petunia. Why? For example I like pretty things. I don't have alot of "pretty" things. BUT she reminded my how pretty the color Robin Egg Blue is. If you've forgotten how pretty Robin Egg Blue is or never seen Robin Egg Blue for its true beauty, head over to My Sweetest Petunia.

My new apron is kick ass and I wear it when ever I enter the kitchen. I've even washed some dished by hands a few minutes ago with my apron on, lol. Thanks again Kelli and Jacky!

My bathroom closet

I got this idea from Ashleigh. Taking a peek inside your home and all. So this is my bathroom closet, with special guest apperences by my boys heads.

So there you have it. Not THAT bad right?

Tears and Sweat

"Both tears and sweat are salty, but they render a different result. Tears will get you sympathy; sweat will get you change."

-Jesse Jackson

The only tears I want to shed are tears of joy, not of pain or disappointment. I do not need nor want anyone's sympathy.

I did some sweating today. It had nothing to do about my boys, family, or friends. But It had everything to do with ME.

Just for me & I feel good.

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

I'm a winner! I totally won a giveaway!!! No shit. Yup I did.

Above is my "happy" face, hahaha.

I entered through SweetestPetunia which is a really sweet and cute blog and you should definetly check it out. She (Jacky) welcomes comments and input for her readers, how cool is that. I won an apron from Kelli and her adorable store Lima Bean Designs! I'm so exited!! I love cooking and as if I don't need another reason to cook, lol.

On another note the time change suck but today is better than yesterday as far as routine for the boys. Its been raining for days its been dark, not good. I'm deactiving my Facebook tonight because I have tons to do and get accomplished and FB is just another distraction. But I will be blogging, much more safe. Its once a day and then i'm done. Thats all I can think of right now. The boys are napping and the house is clean. I'm about to watch a movie and just be.

Something Different

Tonight I am going to write about real life. My friend asked me a few days ago why did I changed the name of my blog. I said something to the affect that it really wasn't me. Not a good name for a blog, not a good name for my blog. No sugar coating implyed that I didn't try to make things out to be better than it is. But looking at the last couple of months of my blog, I've been playing it safe, real light hearted. Which is okay because this a blog, a public blog so I don't get too in depth with my life.

For this particuliar blog i'm going to do something different, i'm going to write about real life. My REAL life.

In real life i've been waiting on unemployment to either approve or deny my claim. Meaning in real life no income had been coming in for about two and half months. In real life i've been living off my savings and soon will have to dip into the boys money and that breaks my heart and makes me upset. Because there is rent, utilities, food, and other misc things that need to be paid for and brought. In real life there is a very real possiblity that the boys and I will have to move in with mom. In real life i'm waiting out as long as possible in hopes something comes through, I love my mother but living back home is not what I want. But I know in real life what I want and what I need are ever so real to me now. In my real life i've been feeling guilty about purchases thinking I could have saved the money for something more inportant. In my real life right now, I'm in the process of going back to school and finally decided on what I want to do and what I want to be. In real life I need to focus more and get rid of distractions, therefore Monday i'm disabling Facebook. Its such a distraction for no other reason then I have little self control over stupid petty Facebook apps, lol. Because I need to harvest my crops and not let my food at my cafe spoil...so silly. In my real life i'm usually the anchor and the uplifter. In real life my one of best friends is becoming much more disappointing. In real life I think my boys are better behaved then the "average" and I need to stop fussing over the little stuff.

In real life I usually see the glass as half full even when reading back on this post, I see the glass as half full. I see my real life as half full.

Dress Opinions

I need you opinions again. Just like the project cupid top post, by the way I went with the Silver top(Shea picked that one, but my mom also like it the most also).

March 21st I have a wedding to go too. Its an indoor in her grandparents house wedding. Nothing fancy but definetly no jeans and a t-shirt. I found these to dresses in my sisters closet. Which do you like best. The pictures aren't that great but I hope you can get the look.

Dress #1-Very basic Black and Gray.


Dress #2- All Gray.

Is the Gray dress too short? BE HONEST! I swear its boarderline babydoll teddy length no?

I'm 25, not 20.

Opinion are always appreicated with me.

In my opinion I think the length of dress #1 is better than dress #2. Or am I being to convservative?

I like dress # 2 because its more up to date than dress #1.

I like the waist, metal buttons, and pockets on dress #2.

I like dress #1 because it's pretty much basic and straight to the point but it does give a curve to my hips which I like also.

Oh, if you don't like either let me know too.

F and PB

Do you ever find something that you haven't eaten in awhile? Then think to yourself, "Why did I stop eating that?" When you do eat that food, does it bring you back to your childhood or another warm and happy memory? Well a couple of days ago during a trip to good ole Walmart I came upon some Fluff. I so dearly hope you know what Fluff is. Its basically melted just right marshmellow.....yum. You know when you would make(roast over open camp fire, roast over gas flame in kitchen, roast over a light, lol, microwave, or bake them) a smore and the melted marshmellow inside..sooo good. Some genuis put that stuff in a jar and called it Fluff. I'm thinking he called it fluff because he couldn't put "This is some good fucking stuff" on the jar, so Fluff it is. I brought the Fluff thinking to myself why haven't I brought this sooner? I mean I remember Fluff. Fluff is some good fucking stuff. Brought it home and waited until the boys were asleep to grab a spoon and eat it(I know how awful). Oh man the sweet, gooey, and sticky stuff was sooo good. I really did have to stop myself from eating too much of it.

Today when lunch time rolled around I needed something quick and easy for the boys because I wasn't in the mood to made a production out of lunch, not today, well actually not most days. I seattled on a PB&J, but behind the J, there was the Fluff. Then I thought about how greedy and selfish(because being a mother guilt comes alot easier than it use to) I was the night before in not sharing the Fluff. To make myself feel better I made them what my mom made us when we were younger. F&PB, Fluff and Peanut Butter! Have you ever had F&PB? Did they like it? Well, what do you think? See for yourself.

Good ole Skippy, thats how we roll in this house. We don't go cheap with peanut butter.

Ratio to Fluff and peanut butter....tab bit more peanut butter than Fluff. Thats how I like it.

In this picture you can see the bumps under Zane's mouth, my poor baby :(.He's getting better though.

Right down to the crust!

Fun day

Today's weather was just right! It is after all March so I wasn't excepting 70 degree weather but 51 would do, and it did! My sister and I went to the mall with the boys this afternoon. Our intention was just to tag along with my sister because she went to get her eyebrows threaded...but we stopped at a few stores..hehehehe....

First shoe store...where I scored a pair of cute wedge shoes for $20.00 when it was 24.99!

Then we went to Marshalls for no real reason. I found a kick ass magnifying glass for 5.00! Christian is really enjoying it. He know has to look at things a little closer now of course.
I also got a pilates/yoga mat for 10.99, which I think is a good deal. No idea if its atop notch one but I don't need one and i think the one i brought today will do. After the mall we dropped our stuff in the house and played outside for a few, because the sun was still out and the weather was still decent. Mac n cheese and mix vegetables for dinner and hopefully a easy bedtime for the boys. As for me, I've been trying to watch the movie0" Awake" for a while now but something always comes up or I miss bits and pieces when I do start watching it.

Hopefully, tonight will be the night.

Goodnight.

64 DAYS left until the walk.

Last year I did the walk for March for Dimes. It was hot as heck & I remember tweeting inbetween the pain in my feet and the heat beating down on me. I walk with my sister and a friend. It was fun and this year I'll be doing it again. May 8, 2010, 64 days until the walk. Here are pictures from last year. They are also on my Facebook if you want to look back on them.

one day... all babies will be born healthy

today... too many moms and families know the heartbreak of having a baby born fighting to survive

I've joined March for Babies because the March of Dimes champions the needs of moms and babies in our community and across the nation. The money we raise for March for Babies will help:

- support all-important research offering preventions and solutions for babies born too soon or with birth defects

- educate women on things they can do to increase their chances of having a healthy baby

- provide comfort and information to families with a newborn in intensive care

- push for newborn screening and health insurance for all pregnant women and children

Please help by donating today!

It's easy, safe and secure - just click to make your donation.
http://www.marchforbabies.org/yanickm

The mission of March of Dimes is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth, and infant mortality.

The Wilderness

I got this from a prayer group i'm a part of. Had to share because it spoke to me.

A dry season in the wilderness does something interesting for a tree: it causes the roots to go down deeper in search of life giving moisture. And usually the result is a stronger tree that is better able to weather the storms. What may at first glance appear to be barren, fruitless days may in fact be preparing you for days of great fruit bearing just ahead. Wilderness times will come - expect them. But don't allow the heat to make you bitter or disobedient toward God. "So let [endurance] grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing" (James 1:4)

Happy Friday.

Ew

Zane has mouth foot hand disease. It started as off and on fever and Tuesday I saw bumps on his lip, called the doctor and got him a same day appointment. He has mouth foot hands disease, but only in the mouth. No bumps on the hands or feet. He is VERY FUSSY (and his breath stinks, ew!), which I can understand because the Doctor said it can be painful. As for me i'm "fussy" because of the lack of sleep. We start off in my queen size bed and them he becomes fussy and cranky so we move to the living room. For some odd reason he calms down some when he's in the living room. Even when he does fall asleep i'm up. No matter how EXHAUSTED I am when my boys are sick I really can't sleep well. Zane has a RX that I give (well, I try too) 4 times a day. He kicks, he screams, he crys, he shuts his mouth so I can't get the medicine on. That in itself is a chore. BUT I will say he is getting better.

Tomorrow I have a job interview at a Chriopractor Office, part-time. Wish me luck on that and Saturday there's a open house for a job and i'll be going to that one as well. Rather than that, my life has been filled with a sick child and lack of sleep. Hopefully next week it gets better.

I still haven't forgotten about my Pilates plan. Still working on it.

My size 6 Jeans

Nothing like putting on a pair of jeans and you can't button them. Isn't just a lovely feeling? I was cleaning out my closet. I came upon some jeans I haven't worn in awhile. I wasn't sure If I loved them or hated them so to make up my mind I tried them on. Because if my ass looked good in them the jeans were going in the keeper pile, lol. I try them on and they fit from the hips down. Fit my thighs just right, made my butt look nice and round, and the length was not too long. ONLY problem is before I could have even button them, I could already tell it was going to be a struggle. I tried to button them up without using the suck in method...we all know the suck in stomach method, i'm sure. They didn't button, then I pulled out the handy dandy suck in stomach method and I wiggled some, and grunted a bit and then and ONLY then did they button. They buttoned! But it was WAY uncomfortable. The button pushed into my stomach and it was slightly painful.

Short and sweet of this post. I'm going to start trying to lose inches of my waist and stomach. I'm not into the overly jumpy workout stuff right now. I've tried it, not my favorite thing to do. I do enjoy running but its cold here so thats a no go. I'm going to try Pilates.



It looks good and I heard is a really good core workout. I definetly do not want to look skinny, thats not my thing either. Slim and toned. I think Pilates will help me get there. So in next few weeks i'm going to look into come up with a game plan. I'm not sure if I should document actively about my progress pictures and all or just go by the jeans. I don't even have a scale in my home. I'm not a scale person. The only time I get weighed is when I have a Doctors appointment. So, i'm going to come up with a game plan and maybe come back and post it....still not sure about that yet. I just wonder how writing or blogging about it would be a positive. Well, anywhoo thats my declaration and i'll date you when I have my game plan set.